“I haven’t had many KOs this week so my socks are still OTN. But I did sneak in a little KIP yesterday. Oh, Karen and I are going to the LYS tomorrow. You up for a quick SEX?”

I blame text messaging for talk like this.

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Jenn’s Snarky Knit & Crochet Jargon Guide

(which will be outdated within a week)

This is not a guide for the shortened terms for stitches, like hdc and ssk. Those are the useful acronyms of knit and crochet. I like those. This post is about the silly stuff that is coming out of our mouths (even mine I’m sorry to say). We think we’re being clever on the phone or in a tweet but habits take root and it spills over into our real-life conversations. Pretty soon we are all sounding like hyperactive government agents who must speak in code to foil enemies of state.

But if we are going to do it, we should do it well!

 

CAL – Crochet-A–Long:  A pattern which a group all starts at the same time and cheers each other on towards the finish. (Also MCAL– a Mystery Crochet-A–Long. Same as above only none of you know what the heck your making because the designer is being a big meanie  and won’t tell you.)

CIP – Crochet In Public : Just what it sounds like only you have to put up with people coming up and telling you that your knitting is lovely.

Frog : to rip out your work. You rip-it, rip-it… and that sounds like a frog croaking. Don’t look at me, I didn’t invent it. I didn’t invent any of this.

Frog pond : I’ve heard it used two ways

• The enormous pile of yarn that you make when you frog an entire piece at once
• A place where you’re keeping all the UFOs that you plan to frog

 Either way, a frog pond is not good.

EZ – Elizabeth Zimmerman: A knitting teacher/designer/guru who was so damn awesome she gets her own acronym.

Hooker : a crocheter (There are two kinds of crocheters; the kind who are offended when you call them a hooker and the kind that laugh when you call them a hooker. Try to hang out with the second kind.)

KAL – Knit-A–Long : See CAL

KIP – Knit In Public : Just what it sounds like only you have to put up with people coming up and telling you that your crocheting is lovely.

KO – Knitting Opportunity : Anytime you are awake.

LYS – Local Yarn Shop : A beautiful and fun place that will suck all the money right out of your wallet.

OTH – On The Hook : This is a WIP that you are actively making and can show off with pride, unlike the the WIP that has become a UFO which you only talk about when forced to do so.

OTN – On The Needles :  see OTH

POD – Project Of Doom : A project that is driving you mad but you have to finish it because of some stupid promise you made to some stupid person.

SABLE – Stash Acquired Beyond Life Expectancy : In order to determine if you really have STABLE first consider that the average lifespan depends on country of origin as well as your individual crafting speed and… ah screw it. Just go buy more yarn.

SEX – Stash Enhancement eXpedition : Its a yarn buying trip. Get your mind out of the gutter.

SSS – Second Sock Syndrome : When you have finished one sock and just can’t bring yourself to start and/or finish the second sock. TAAT was invented to combat SSS.

TAAT – Two At A Time : The practice of forcing yourself to make two identical items at the same time (usually on one set of circular needles) so that you will not end up with just one useless, although quite pretty, sock.

Tink – Undo knitting one stitch at a time.  Its knit spelled backwards and I went YEARS without realizing that. I blame yarn fumes for making me so oblivious.

TOAD – Trashed Object, Abandoned in Disgust : A project that’s not even worth frogging.

UFO – UnFinished Object, also BUFO – Boring UnFinished Object : This designation is reserved for a WIP that you have been ignoring for awhile and even though you tell yourself you’ll get back to it someday, we all know you’re lying. It will be in the bottom of your work basket making you feel guilty forever.

WIP – Work In Progress : An polite, milquetoast way to describe anything you have not completed yet. A brave crafter sucks it up and calls it for what it really is: an OTN/H or a UFO.

Yarn vomit – That wad of yarn you accidentally pulled out of the center of your ball when all you really wanted was the end

YCZ – Yarn Containment Zone, also SCZ – Stash Containment Zone : My entire apartment. I used to have a SCZ closet but that battle was lost years ago. Now my goal is to simply keep the stash behind my front door.

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Feel free to add more in the comment section. I’m sure there are loads I don’t know (yet). Here are a few non-crafty acronyms that would be appropriate responses to this post:

tl;dr – Too long, Didn’t read

sgtm – sounds good to me

ikr – I know right!

tmi – too much information

Why do I even know this stuff??? Stupid text messages.