It has come to my attention that Food-Woman spent last Thursday writing about a dog that messed up a skein of yarn. A dog. On my blog.
Well, I’ve had a firm talk with Food-Woman and as the Semi-Divine Feline Overlord of South Austin and the Roving Crafters Blog, I can assure you that there will be no dogs in this Thursday’s post.
I can also assure you that I have messed up more than one skein of yarn in my day. It was only a few short months ago that Food-Woman was unwise enough to leave the door to the yarn closet open. I spent all day in there. Oh yes, and the mess I left behind took three days to untangle. Where is the blog post about that, I ask?
For today I’ve made a list of all the steps my Food-Woman takes to try and keep me away from the yarn and fiber which she foolishly thinks belongs to her. Please look them over and tell me which of these efforts you are also making to protect your stash from your own Feline Overlords (or any other beings of a lower order that live in your home).
Thank-you for taking the poll. All of your answers were wrong. None of these tactics will work and let me tell you why:
- The word “no” is meaningless to Feline Overlords, but please, keep wasting your breath.
- Loud banging noises are also meaningless. We know that you would never hurt us you big dummy.
- A project bag may keep us out but it does not keep us from raking over, dragging around, and laying on top of your project. Those bags make for nice pillows though.
- If I wanted to eat, I’d be at the food dish howling. I want the yarn and I will have the yarn. End of story.
- You may think you’ve won with that stinky-smelly canned air when we run off but we only run to the bedroom where you left your purple fingerless glove on DPN’s on the nightstand…
If you have a Feline Overlord that lets you knit/crochet/spin it is only because they are feeling generous and/or lazy. If they wanted to stop you, they could stop you. There would be nothing you could do about it.
Now open the door to this yarn closet again.