Google Is Coming For Me


Today is the day that Google comes and invades my home. When I say today I of course mean anytime in the next 48 hours because that is how they schedule things and there is no way to get a more specific or narrow time. I just have to live in limbo. I also have to clear out my closets and that is where I KEEP MY STASH.

You are beginning to see how this is a serious imposition.

Google has blessed my city, Austin Texas, with Google Fiber. The whole city is getting wired up for this new service. Most people are pretty excited about it and I’ll admit that I’m looking forward to trying out Fiber too. The basic service will cost me a one-time fee of $10. Then I have internet for as long as I live here or anywhere else that has Google Fiber installed. It sounds pretty good.

For months crews have been moving through neighborhoods installing cables and outlets and who knows what else. Now it is my turn. They will be here soon. They will be here to wire me up for the world’s cheapest internet and they need to find the best way into the attic or something. Google needs access to every room and every closet.

My stash is in my closets. Not all of it of course. Its too big and I’m too messy for it to ALL live neatly organized behind closed doors. There is some tucked away in my craft table. There is more in my Main Work Basket.

There is a basket of half-balls on the coffee table and a jar of half balls under the sideboard table. There is yarn on top of the bookcases and on top of the books in the bookcases and behind the books in the bookcases. There is probably more in other places that I can’t think of right now.

I can truthfully say that there is none in the bathroom.

But all that is just overflow. The stash, the official stash, lives in bins and bags in my many and sundry closets. Or that is where it normally lives. Right now its living out on my porch.

I moved it yesterday. No way I’m letting big rough men paw in my precious stash and shove things as they see fit. I have yak down in there. I have cashmere in there. I have one-of-a-kind, hand-dyed-just-for-Jenn by a very good friend in there. So I got organized and moved my stash out onto the porch. It not the best situation but its the only place I could come up with that it all could live for two days and not be in the way of everyone (including me).

The Stash. Its hard to get a single picture of it all even with the wide-angle lens. Btw, there is a little back cat in one of these. You’re shocked, I know.


Then I woke up and found this in the weather forecast.

Now that is just not fair. It hasn’t rained here in months. What are the chances of this???

So after this post, I’m moving it to my truck. I think I can fit it all in the passenger and back seat. Don’t look at me like I’m a weirdo. Trucks and cars are great for hiding yarn. I figured that out back when I was married.

After I get the stash moved (again), then comes the really hard part. I have to tell Feline Overlord and Cowardly Boy Cat that there will be strangers in our home. Yeah, I know. I have to tell them that they will be locked in the bathroom whenever I have to leave and/or when Google shows up. Yeah, I know. I have to tell them that this will go on for the next two days.

Yeah. I know.

This had better be really great internet, Google.


Print Friendly

Related Content


"There is no failure. Only feedback." - Robert Allen

14 Comments on "Google Is Coming For Me"

Notify of
Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted

I feel your pain, but in the long run it will be worth it


You are right it certainly will. Getting rid of my monthly internet bill will be great. I’m looking forward to that.

I just have to get there.


Oh my bless your heart! Sounds like a big improvement especially cost wise. I have never heard of Google Fiber. Hope you get good service. Is Austin a test market or is this coming to a neighborhood near us all? Give your furry creatures an extra dose of catnip for their inconvenience. I know mine DO NOT like their domain disturbed.

Oh yes. It will be a saving (for me) of about $45 a month. That will be great. Me and the fur-babies just have to live through the Google invasion first. So they came today and did half of it I think. i guess they will be back tomorrow But I think it will be be early-ish. That is my hope anyway. The kitties are pissed but I bribed them with mackerel so they ate and fell asleep. I think the real price will come tonight when they wake up just as I want to sleep. Fiber is the Google… Read more »

Wow, that sounds like a fabulous thing, starting three days from now!
I guess if I had to move my stash for two days (my stash is not as big as yours by a long shot, but is scattered in many, many places because I have no closets) I would take it as A Sign that I should spend the two days sorting and organizing and recording my stash on rav. But it makes me a little dizzy to think about it.
Good luck!
(And I think I see a kitty in TWO of your pictures…am I hallucinating? Again?)


She probably is in two pictures. She’s probably in all of them. I swear every time I go into my stash I find my cat in there.

Well, I’m getting the G Fiber but not in three days. They are just wiring homes right now. The lines aren’t connected to anything yet. Maybe in a month they say, we’ll get service. When that happens I predict all of Austin becomes hermits who play video games and watch Netflix 24/7.


I would not want to be you and have to tell them they have to stay in the bathroom. That never goes over well. Mackerel sounds like a good bribe. I’m also sure Feline Overlord wasn’t happy about the stash moving out however temporary.


They are very not happy all that is for sure. If I was a better human servant, then I would have found a way to prevent all this in the first place. Or so they tell me.

They’ll forgive me. Eventually. I have the opposeable thumb and I’m the only one who can open the cat food tins. But right now the only love I’m getting is cupboard love. If I don’t have food to hand out they are officially pissed at me.


You ever just want to jump in there and swin in it like Scrooge McDuck in the coin vault? You (and FO) could do laps on that stash!


I think Feline Overlord already does that whenever she gets the chance. Her thing is to sneak in to the stash and sleep on top of it.