A while back, a LONG while back, I wrote a post about how Google was coming to wire up my little home for Goggle Fiber. Because they needed access to every closet and every room, that meant I had to move the stash. I had to move almost the entire stash, all the yarn and all the fiber, and it was an ordeal.
But it was an ordeal that would be worth it because Google Fiber is made of win, or so I’ve been told by virtually everyone on the planet. Plus, moving the stash means you get to play in the stash and that’s always fun which is possibly why no one who read that post felt sorry for me in the least. I was, however, instructed by several readers to come back and tell everyone how wonderful Google Fiber is though. This that that post.
(I other words I was messing around with changing my internet all day and am just now sitting down at my computer to post something.)
I’m not at all happy about the long delay, the constant put-offs, and the complete lack of customer service so before I get to how the Fiber internet actually works, I need to vent all that frustration. Here is
Jenn’s (un)Official Timeline Of Google Fiber Comes to Austin
June 2015 – Goggle says they are in Austin and going
neighbor fiberhood by neighbor fiberhood and the whole city will be wired up come fall.
August 2015 – Google people show up in Jenn’s
neighbor fiberhood and take her money and tell her that she is signed up. They also tell her she’ll have Fiber by the end of September.
End of September 2015- Jenn sends her first complaining email to Google and it accidentally lands in someone’s spam folder and is never seen again.
Mid October 2015- A horde of installation guys descend on Jenn’s
neighbor fiberhood and she has to move the stash. She also gets a little white box that is attached to the wall but it doesn’t do anything. The installation guys tell her she’ll have Fiber in 20 to 30 days.
Mid November 2015- Jenn sends her second complaining email to Google but it gets re-routed to Lois Lerner’s inbox and we all know what happens to that lady’s emails.
Early December 2015- Google pays millennials to stand around in local grocery stores and sign people up for Fiber. Jenn marches up the the first one she sees and loudly complains and demands her money back. But then she caves and apologizes and hurries away because the millennial looks like he might cry.
Early December 2015 + 2 hours – Jenn writes another complaining email in which she accuses Google of having fabricated the entire Fiber internet plan because they obviously have no intention of giving her or anyone else in Austin internet and are in fact, scam artists running an illegal operation out of a basement in China.
Early December 2015+ 2 hours + 3 days – Google replies. They cheerfully explain that these things take time and that Jenn’s
neighbor fiberhood will have service by the end of the year.
Early January 2016 – Jenn writes out a masterpiece of an email proving beyond any doubt that Google totally sucks. But she doesn’t send it because why bother. Also, there are too many dirty words in that email so it gets deleted.
Early February 2016 – Jenn nearly has a heart attack when she receives an email telling her that her Fiber is ready to be activated. All she needs is an installation kit which they can send in the mail to arrive in two to three days. But she has to be there, at home, with photo ID, to sign for it when it shows up or it will get shipped back. If that doesn’t work Google can schedule her for an in-hone installation except they can’t actually schedule those right now and to check back in two to three weeks. Or she can just fight her way into downtown Austin and come get the installation kit herself.
February 9th 2016 – Jenn makes four wrong turns in downtown Austin but does finally find the pay-by-the-hour parking lot and then walks three blocks and gets her installation kit, goes home (without making any wrong turns thank-you), and activates her Fiber.
And it works pretty good. Its certainly faster then what I had before (basic from Time Warner). Also, it comes with Wi-Fi. I’m almost certain that when I signed up I was told Wi-Fi was extra so I turned that part down. But they changed their pricing structure now its part of the basic package. Or maybe I just remember it wrong which is certainly possible because it took
13 years four months to get installed.
Good internet Google. But your service sucks so bad I am left praying it never, ever breaks because I’ll probably be in my grave before anyone comes to repair it.