My world is getting dimmer.

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinteresttumblr

This is pretty scary for me and I’ve been hiding it for a good while now. My eyesight is not what it used to be. Its not what it was a year ago or even a month ago. My poor eyes are getting worse and… I haven’t told anybody. Until now.

(If you happen to be someone I know in real life, and it upsets you that you are reading about this here, I’m sorry. I have trouble talking about health issues. Always have. Want to hear about the time I trudged around with a partially collapsed lung for about a month and didn’t admit anything was wrong until I passed out behind the wheel of my truck? Probably not. Again I’m sorry. I suck at admitting something is wrong. I also suck at coping with things I can’t control.)

I feel like I can’t take a decent picture anymore. The truth is I can’t really tell if my pictures are in focus, not even when I’m looking at the image on my big computer screen. Just looking at a computer screen makes my eyes ache.

Then there is the knitting. I’m having trouble seeing my stitches. I can manage… in good light… with my glasses on. Oh boy howdy does that scare the ever living crap out of me. A year ago I could knit outside as the sun went down. A month ago I just needed decent light. Now? Now I need my glasses an Ott Light to do anything more complicated than knits and purls.

But the worst is colors seem to be off. My optometrist (yes I been to see an optometrist, twice in fact) tells me that is normal. She also gently implied it was largely in my head. But I don’t think so. The colors I see are just not what they used to be. They are not bright enough or deep enough or real enough. I love color. I crave color. I don’t know how to accept this gray-ish version of the world.

Just typing that out is making me cry.

Except I can’t really cry because I can’t make tears. That is what came out in my second trip to the optometrist. I have dry eyes, very dried out eyes. That doesn’t sound like a big deal does it? But I guess it is. My eyeballs are drying out and so they don’t work right anymore. I could get new prescription glasses every month but it wouldn’t be anything more than a band aid.

Now maybe I’m just freaking out and maybe its not a big thing and maybe it happens to lots of people as they get older. That is in fact what my optometrist told me. “Its just part of getting older, Jenn.” But I need my vision. I’m a knitter and I need my vision. I demanded some help.

So the professional recommendation was to not do anything that strained my eyes for 10 days. That meant no computer (which I cheated on but only for half an hour a day because I had to have the news). That meant no knitting (which I cheated on but only when I was at my knit classes and only because I couldn’t bare to explain what was going on). I also have some prescription eye goo which DOES NOT help me see anything and in fact makes the world a big blurry mess because its really just Vaseline that you smear around on your eyeballs.

Ten days of almost-no knitting and almost-no computer and no reading books does not seemed to have refreshed my eyes. But it has convinced me that I absolutely have to hold on to my vision. The boredom was soul crushing. All I did to listen to music and vacuum my carpets and pet my kitties and try to cry.

The new plan? I’ve decided to cure myself and eyeball Vaseline is not a cure. I’ve been squinting at my computer screen and reading up on eye disorders and treatments and nutrition and home remedies. What am I trying? All of them. Fish oil and omega 3’s and 6’s and even 9’s (which I had never heard of before). Also lutein and zeaxanthin with vitamin A,C,E, and Zinc. Also lotsandlotsandlots of water along with electrolyte drinks which I absolutely detest but if it helps I’ll swig gallons of it.

And if any of you have suggestions I’ll try those too.

I’m done with sitting around in dimly lit rooms trying to cry. I’ll be out on my sunny porch drinking blue water that tastes vaguely like pee-pee (aka an electrolyte drink) and KNITTING on my Trickery.

 

 

Print Friendly

Related Content

Facebooktwittergoogle_pluspinteresttumblr

"There is no failure. Only feedback." - Robert Allen

70 Comments on "My world is getting dimmer."

Notify of
avatar
Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Judy Phillips
Guest

Oh, what a big, big step to take your worries public. That must have been hard. I definitely encourage the holistic approach of nourishing and hydrating to put yourself in the very best position to fight this thing. Quick suggestion: those commercial electrolyte drinks are nasty. A quick Google search will yield many recipes for homemade versions that are WAY cheaper, delicious, and not full of chemicals and colorants.
This is a problem every crafter dreads! Please keep us posted on your progress!

Meg bush
Guest

This makes me so sad! We are all struggling! I know it’s hard but it’s good to talk. You will have a lot of support… no that won’t fix it. But it’s better not to be alone. I would go to a naturopath. You are doing some holistic things. But if it were me. That would be what I would do. You can put glasses on just for the computer that help the stress. You are right to do what you love with a passion. Bless you:)

Ellen
Guest

This may be counter to the current culture, but I think you’d be wise to see an opthamologist…an MD who works will eye diseases. You may simply have cataracts…a natural part of ageing, but until about 20 years ago, there was no fix. Now there’s a great fix, and health insurance ought to cover it.
Glad you reached out….none of us control much, let alone aging and illness, but we gat by with a little help from our friends 🙂

Willi
Guest

I agree with Ellen. Sorry about your troubles, that really sucks.

Pam
Guest
I agree with Ellen, I would get a second opinion, and an ophthalmologist is a good start. I had cataract surgery myself a bit over a year ago and it made a good bit of difference for me, not saying that is your issue. My optometrist had been watching my cataracts develop for several years, and made me aware of them, but they won’t do surgery until a certain point. I had clouding of my vision, that some rubbing of my eyes cleared temporarily, and lights at night, especially when driving, had bright rings around them. The computer was hard… Read more »
Sondra
Guest

That is wonderfully sound advice, Ellen. Jen, please listen to her! An ophthalmologist is just what you need to… RUN Don’t walk to… see! Do not fool around with this!

Rhonda
Guest

I completely agree. Good luck.

Elizabeth
Guest

Absolutely agree. Please see an opthamologist.

Barbara
Guest

An opthamologist is the best recommendation. An opthamologist is an MD trained in eye issues beyond an optometrist. It is quite possible this could be reparable. Bless you p, the stress must be awful. I’m sorry you are going through this but medical help is needed.

Mary S.
Guest

This registered nurse agrees. See an ophthalmologist. There are many diseases that be cured or at least symptoms minimized but DO NOT delay making an appointment. The longer you wait, the worse the symptoms may become.

Good luck.

Aquila
Guest

Yes, get to an ophtamologist as fast as you can. An optometrist is not qualified to deal with what you describe, it’s a medical condition and you need an MD who specializes in diseases and conditions of the eye. My mother had a lens replaced at 88 and could see well until the wet macular degeneration got worse. If you have chronic dry eye you need an MD. Pleae, don’t wait.

Carol
Guest

Perhaps you need to change optomitrists. Mine was able to diagnose cataracts, which have symptoms much as you have described. If you don’t want to change, definitely get a second opinion woth an ophthalmologist.

Maggie
Guest

If health insurance doesn’t cover whatever your problem turns out to be, you may be able to take it off your income tax bill as a business expense – after all, you make your living off of your needlework. Just a thought.

Jerri
Guest

I agree with Ellen. So much is available to us now. But, keep taking the supplements. I have been for years and they do help.

Joan
Guest

I agree! You may have astigmatism as well.

Helen
Guest

Not sure this is of value for you, however, my husband had eye surgery now uses REFRESH TEARS available over the counter. Let me know if you need more info if this is something you are interested in.

Sending prayers

Sharon
Guest

Refresh tears does help, I use it twice a day and use the gel version when I go to bed. It has helped some, but I haven’ stopped knitting or crocheting. Have stopped drop spind lint can’t see how thick my thread is. But I still do things until I have double or triple vision before I stop.

Sandi Carlyon
Guest
I feel your pain! My eyesight is also beginning to get dimmer, and it is also affecting my knitting. On the plus side, I don’t see so many wrinkles in the mirror these days! I did have a vision check a few months ago and was told by an optometrist that I’m developing a cataract and should see an ophthalmologist about removing it. Any chance this is what is happening to you? I keep putting this off because the idea of something sharp poking into my eye surgically freaks me out a lot . . . But good eyesight is… Read more »
wpDiscuz