This is my allergy forecast for today:

Today is not special. The allergy forecast in my area has looked like this for weeks. I am under attack by tree pollen and there is no end in sight. So I have been taking anti-histamines… even though anti-histamines make me really, really weird.

It could not be helped. The anti-histamines I mean. I enjoy breathing you see. I’m normally quite good at it (been been practicing breathing all my life) and I feel out of sorts when something gets in the way of that.

But the anti-histamines are bothersome. They make me feel like taking a nice cozy nap but also like maybe I should go out jogging. My brain is dazed and slow. I couldn’t out-smart my Cowardly Boy Cat right at this moment and he has actual, medically confirmed brain damage. But even though I’ve lost 50 IQ points and I’m pretty sure I’m about as coordinated as a teen age girl learning to walk in stiletto heels, I cannot sit still. I’m twitchy and fidgety and I can’t get rid of all this nervous energy. I think this is what being an eight year old with ADHD feels like.

All of this is why I’m having so much trouble designing my next shawl. That’s my excuse and I’ll be sticking with it. I’m supposed to be designing a three color shawl in fingering weight yarn.

Before I even got my hands on this yarn, I had a plan, a vague idea for that three color shawl. It won’t take shape this idea. Like a word that’s on the tip of your tongue but you just can’t get it out, this shawl won’t come out. Every time I think about it, it changes. Over the past week I’ve come up with a rejected a dozed half-formed designs. Along the way I’ve thought up

• A five panel all-lace shawl that has to be be in one color.  I gave up on that plan after I realized I had seven charts already and it was only halfway down the back. I hate knitting that’s complicated just for the sake of being complicated. Its pretentious.
• A clever variation of Feather and Fan that would make a nifty biased-fabric scarf but be so boring no one would make it. Also, I have a TON of scarfs already.
• A smashing idea for a hat in worsted weight yarn. I will put this one on the actual to-make-someday list.

None of that is a three color shawl. Stupid trees.

But I have it. Finally, I have my idea. Its more stole-shaped then shawl-shaped but I love it. It looks great in my head and I think it will look great in actual yarn as well. The design came to me around one AM this morning, and yes, I got out of bed and started knitting. I can’t sleep with these anti-histamines juicing my blood stream anyway.Why do you think I was wide awake and thinking about knitting at one AM? Besides, I have to knit this damn thing and quick before it slips away from me and back into the murky, pollen soaked mush that is my brain.