Through the Eyes of a Non-Knitter

pity for the non-knitter

Caroline: “Hey what’s up Jenn?”

Jenn: “Oh hey Carol! I’m good. Have you met Lupa? She is showing me her sock. Show Caroline your sock Lupa.”

Lupa hands Caroline her phone… which is most certainly not a sock. On the phone is a picture of something small and wildly colorful and made of yarn? Its probably yarn. Caroline is not sure what to say so she just hums politely.

Jenn: Its her very first sock.

Caroline glances up and finds that Jenn is nodding her head like this is a very important thing.

Lupa: Not really. Not yet. I’m only to the heel.

Caroline: It looks… it looks great.

Jenn is smiling so hard her face probably hurts and Lupa is looking pleased but vaguely embarrassed. Caroline feels a bit embarrassed too and she doesn’t really understand what this conversation is even about. Also both Lupa and Jenn are looking at her like she is supposed to say something more.

Caroline: Well keep it up. I’m sure it will be a great, err, sock.

Lupa: Do you knit?

Caroline: Oh no! No, I don’t have time for something like that.

Jenn’s smile turns off like a light switch and Lupa shrugs and looks down at her phone again. They both act like Caroline announced Christmas morning has cancelled in favor of a puppy-kicking party.

Lupa: Its not for everyone.

Lupa shrugs again. Then she looks at Jenn for confirmation but Jenn is looking at Caroline with a smile. Its a small smile this time, the kind people give you when they think they know something you don’t.

Jenn: Doesn’t your baby boy turn one year old this week?

Caroline: Yeah. Actually his birthday is tomorrow.

Jenn: Well. Baby blankets are a great first project.

Jenn is still smiling but now it looks sort of like Dr. Evil’s smile which is weird because Jenn usually very nice. Just this morning she brought in a huge bowl of black cherries for everyone to snack on. But right this minute she looks like a cracked out evil genius.

Jenn: Lupa and I get together and knit sometimes. You should hang out with us.

Caroline: Uhh, yeah. Sure.

Caroline walks away rather quickly and glances back once over her shoulder to see if Jenn is still smiling at her.

Scott: Hey Jenn. How’s it going?

Jenn: Its going great boss. I’m almost done for the day.

Scott: You worked late yesterday. And the day before that. You feeling worn out? Get out of here and get some rest.

Jenn: Naw, when I leave here I’m going to my sit-n-stitch.

Scott: …

Jenn: I just want to finishing getting a few things ready for Sandra. She’s coming in over the weekend you know. Working by herself. So I want to make sure she has everything she needs when she walks in.

Scott: That’s great. How are things going over here now that Patricia is off the team and out of the way?

Jenn: Better. Much better. Feelings are still raw but don’t worry. I’m knitting us all back together.

Scott: …

Jenn: I’m teambuilding.

Scott: Ohh! That’s great. Keep it up.

Nine out of ten people I know: You write a blog… about knitting?

Jenn: Yep. And crochet. And handspinning.

Nine out of ten people I know: Do people read it?

Jenn: laughter Oh yeah. Thousands every day.

Nine out of ten people I know: Why?

Jenn: Because knitting is fun. Duh.

The names have been changed to protect the innocent clueless people who gave me no permission what so ever to talk about them on the internet. But all of these conversations really happened.

If you are reading this blog then I bet you have found yourself in very similar conversations. When you talk to those poor, poor people who don’t play with yarn, try to have patience with them. Not only are they pitiful, but they are so very pitiful that they don’t even realize that we pity them.

Which is kind of pitiful.

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24 Comments on "Through the Eyes of a Non-Knitter"

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There are so many out there just like the ones you write about!! I have ran into so many of them and they are totally Clueless!!! This gave me a good chuckle. Thanks!!!


Lol, so true! 😜


Love it !


Somebody I was visiting with thought I was going to a gym to ride a stationary bike when I mentioned spinning. I know, Jenn, that in some situations all you can do is smile that evil smile. The one that gets me is the “I don’t have time for that kind of thing.” like it’s some sort of useless hobby for ultra rich with nothing better to do. ARGH!!!


If only they had a clue! Thanks for the chuckle. Love the accompanying picture.