Earlier in the week I wrote a post justifying myself for knitting in the dead of night. Well, this post is to justify myself for knitting while high. Because I am. High that is. Wacked-out, stupid high on antihistamines.

That was your warning, ya know. Before you bother wasting precious minutes of your day reading this post I wanted you to know that the author (that would be me) is in an altered mental state. The author (still me) won’t know if this post is completely sensical until she sobers up and reads it sometime tomorrow. And if it does turn out to be a big steaming pile of rambling gibberish the author (almost certain its still me) will leave it up as a painful but important reminder to herself not to write while high.

Its those evil trees that are to blame for this. They have been viciously assaulting me with their pollen for more than a week. I have learned to live with snot bubbling out of my nose every morning and I’ve learned to get by with diminished lung capacity. But today that nasty plant sex dust got into my eyes and I couldn’t see much of anything. Anything included my knitting. So I took a pill. Yes, just the one pill. That is all it takes with me. So now I’m gulping in huge lung fulls of air through my gloriously clear sinuses looking out into a world that is very much in focus.

But my head is about two pounds lighter than it should be and there is a ringing in my ears and my stomach feels a bit unsettled. Also I’m quite slow and stupid, This computer, which is always a challenge for me to operate, seems to have become seventeen times more complicated this morning. Come to think of it, I’m quite impressed that I can bang out a blog post at all, even one that will tomorrow turn out to be rambling gibberish.

But I still can knit while I’m high. I haven’t made any mistakes on this summer tee that I can see. You don’t any mistakes do you? Kay. Just checking.

I’m knitting a bit slower than usual. Since I normally knit pretty slow that former statement means I’m knitting at a snail’s pace. But that’s okay. Its not like anyone is waiting on the pattern for this little creation, right? You’re not waiting on me to publish this are you? I hope not because the pattern is currently a collection of sticky notes arranged on a couple pieces of paper.

I don’t think anyone wants a pattern like that. Also, its not finished. I probably shouldn’t admit that when I write patterns I’m totally winging it, making it all up as I go. But I just did. And maybe I’ve admitted that before only I can’t be sure at the moment. Normally this is where I would pause the writing-of-post and do a search through my old posts to see if I’ve ever rambled about thoughtfully discussed my pattern writing process before. Today I’m not going to do that. Part of being this high is being very easily distracted which leads to a loss of knitting time. Since I took that stupid pill specifically so that I could knit today the distractions are kind of frustrating.

Like when I spent half an hour this morning looking up the origins of the word “gormless”. You see I’ve been reading listening to The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie.

Somewhere in disc three or disc four the author (not me) uses the word “gormless”. The hero wants to conduct a little surveillance and doesn’t want to get caught at it so he wanders around in a “gormless sort of way” pretending to take pictures of pigeons and park benches (or something) to reassure nearby authority types that he is not doing anything suspicious. Like surveillance.

Just love that word. Gormless. It means foolish or lacking in understanding. It means someone is a dumbass. Only the British seem to call people gormless. Its a great word and we should all start using it because there is plenty of gormlessness in the world.

So when the narrator of The Gun Seller said “gormless” I immediately put down my knitting because I’ve always wanted to know the origin of that word. I tried to look it up in the Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology. Its not in there. Really, its not. At first I thought that maybe gormless is in my OEE and I just can’t find it because I’m high. But no, gormless isn’t in there. That ticked me off because I paid quite a lot for this book.

I had to go ask google for the word’s origins. Stupid google. Google knows everything and that ticks me off too. Google is kind of evil and sucks up to foreign governments that suppress free speech (hello to any lurking Chinese government types and you can stick your censorship where the sun doesn’t shine). I should boycott google. But I can’t. because google knows where to find the origins of gormless. 

Anyway. Today I’m pretty gormless but only because of a pill. By tomorrow I will be gormfull (no that is not a real word, yes I checked, and yes I’m disappointed too). Tomorrow I’ll check my knitting and my writing and hopefully i won’t have screwed things up too badly.

I’ll see you on the other side of this pill.